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- priscillawrites
- Jan 20, 2014
- 3 min read

I was shutting off the faucet when I heard footsteps behind me. And then suddenly he was there, looking right at me.
“Hey."
“Hi.” My voice was steady, but I wasn’t sure exactly how long that would last.
“You look good.”
I laughed once. “Yeah, all dirty and mismatched.”
He smiled. “You still look good.”
It was silent for a moment. I didn’t really know what to say, what to ask. Maybe I shouldn’t ask anything. Maybe we were just supposed to forget the past and act like nothing more than old friends. I looked up at his eyes, but I couldn’t tell if that’s what he wanted too.
“You were right,” he said finally, just after I’d made up my mind to walk away. “This is your home. You belong here.”
“I know,” I said softly. I looked down at my hands, which, even though I’d just washed them, were still covered by a soft layer of dirt. That was just one of the many things I’d gotten used to, just one of the many things that didn’t feel like an annoyance anymore. They were just a part of what it meant to live here, and I loved every part of living here now.
“Everyone loves you here, you know.”
“I love them too,” I said, but this time my voice was barely a whisper. It was the strangest thing, how just having him close to me was making everything hard again. I had thought at times over the past three years that I’d stopped loving him- that I’d at least shut that part of my heart away and filled it up with all the love that overflowed for me here. And I’d been grateful for that. Often I’d thanked God for it, for the slow but gradual forgetting. Maybe I hadn’t truly forgotten though. Maybe I still loved him just as much.
But why? I had to ask. What was the point? I wanted so badly for God to answer me right then, with at least one word or thought to comfort me. But He was silent in that moment. Only a small, but poignant wave of peace flowed through me, enough to will me to look up at Mark again.
“Thanks for coming,” I said, because in all this time he hadn’t spoken either. I wondered if his thoughts were anything similar to mine, but decided it was better not to ask. “The kids really loved it all.”
“Yeah,” he said. He grinned. “It’s so worth it to come just for them. But um, I have to admit…” he looked away from me, almost embarrassed. “I didn’t really come just for them.”
That sent a very decided shiver up my spine but for some reason I answered him with a joke. “Yeah, the food’s pretty good too.”
He smiled and then looked up at me seriously. “I missed you.”
I didn’t say anything. Actually, at that point I was really trying not to cry.
He reached for my hand, but I couldn’t help it when I instinctively pulled back. What was he doing? Didn’t he know how much it had hurt me to leave him the first time?
“Sorry,” he said. “I’m... I'm not trying to hurt you. I should probably explain everything first.” He motioned past me, to the field behind the school. “Will you walk with me?”