Dreaming of Perfection

Idealism is an enchanting thing. It's the inspiration behind questions like, "if you could have any job in the world, what would it be?" It's the driving force behind the long lists we make of qualities we want in our future spouse. And idealism can be a beatiful thing because it is the inspiration for our boldest dreams. It allows us to look beyond our present day realities and limitations and look to what could be, what might be, what we would like mroe than anything else to be.

But as someone who fits the mold of "an idealist," I can tell you it's also got its dark side. I'm not just talking about the fact that idealism isn't grounded in reality and can distract you from the practical nature of things and demotivate you from working toward what you really want. I'm talking about more than that- about how that deep yearning can move your heart so deeply to the point of leaving you unsatisfied with anything that doesn't reach your standards of perfection.

I am an idealist. There is no prettier way to say it. I long and dream for things like authentic friends and fellowship. That's one of the big ones for me because opening myself up to people has always been a challenge. So I dream about belonging to a group who would somehow know and understand me. But the reality is that there are real obstacles in the way of that, and many of them lie within me. I also idealize the perfect job. I want a place where I can use my talentes to the fullest, but that's also filled with more meaning that what the world around me seems to offer.

I wish it stopped there, but it doesn't. I am the daydreamer that could write myself a love story that would make you swoon. I could dream up an enchanting personality for myself, a perfect year, a perfect life.

But I keep learning how dangerous that really is. Because the truth is, I can write all the stories and dream all the dreams I want, but I cannot create a perfect life for myself. I cannot give myself a perfect group of friends that will intuitively know and understand me, nor can I create the perfect future husand who will sense and empathize with all my feelings. Life doesn't work that way because as it turns out, life isn't all about me.

I'll let you in on a little secret though. There is one thing in my life that always meets and even surpasses my idealistic dreams and expectations. And His name is Jesus. He is beyond what I could have dreamed for myself in a friend and father and heavenly King. He is more than my idealism and more than my greatest vision of perfection. And He's the only one that will ever fulfill that deep yearning in me.

I believe God made our hearts to long for perfection- to dream and to hope for the most ideal version of existence. It's part of our "God-shaped hole," part of the way we are naturally wired to need Him. But it was not made to be satisfied by anything other than Him.

It's when we realize this that we can grow. That's when we can let go of our idealistic expectations for the people and circumstances in our lives. When we get to know Jesus- beuatiful, compassionate, perfect Jesus- our hearts are finally fulfilled. We meet Perfection Himself in its only true form.

My longing heart is put to rest there. Because He is so much more than what I need, and He provides all I have ever tried to find in other things and people. He is my most impossible, craziest, idealistic dream. And He's so real in my life.

#christian #2015