Looking Back on Fall

Lately I've had a feeling that the next "semester" of my life (hey, I'm a recent college graduate, I still look at life through semesters) will be a bit busier than the one that is coming to a close. But I'm excited for it. As I come to the end of this season though, I am more thankful for it than ever. These last few months were definitely not perfect, but I can clearly see how I grew from them.

Back in September, all my free time and lack of a clear direction made me uncomfortable. I wrestled with that, with not having a clear purpose and very few well-defined goals. It meant I had to put a lot of work into staying focused and identifying the things that really mattered to me. But that ended up being such a good thing.

For one, this season brought back writing for me in a much more real way than before. I've always loved creative writing, and I've almost always done it for my own personal enjoyment. But actually publishing a novel... well that always seemed like a far off dream that might someday happen under the right circumstances. Not now. But this season asked me a very loud "why not?" And you know what? I don't really have a good answer to that question anymore. I'm dreaming in regards to writing in a way I never have before, and I'm learning that it requires persistence and confidence. Even when you think your writing sucks and nothing you write could ever be publish-worthy. God recently reminded me that talent must be cultivated. He gave me this gift to develop, not to throw away or ignore because it doesn't seem "good enough." And I'm taking that to heart.

Perhaps my favorite thing about this strange season though, has been what I'm learning about my relationship with God. Don't get me wrong, I haven't been perfectly disciplined and been reading the Bible the way I know I should. But I can see how God has been drawing me closer even through the moments we've shared in my car, on long drives with my worship music on blast. I'm learning so much about His love and life and grace.

He is teaching me that grace is so much more open and wide than I've ever known. He is teaching me that what I am doing doesn't matter half as much as how I'm doing it. He is teaching me that there is no need to rush through life, because true purpose is found in Jesus. And I am found in Him. I am most definitely still on a journey to understand His love and grow into who He made me to be. But it's one heck of a beautiful journey, and I'm enjoying every part.

No matter what season of life you're in, I hope you're finding a way to lean into Him. There are lessons in every single season of life we grow through, and things He wants us to understand. Look for them. I bet that like me, you'll find even more than what you ever expected.

:)

#christian #2015