Being an Introvert in the Church

The interesting thing about the church is that it's meant to be a social entity. Jesus intended for us to be in community. It's such a good thing for our hearts and souls to walk life out with people who also love God and are trying to follow Him. I might be an introvert who is quite fond of spending time alone, but I recognize that. I love that. Actually, some of the happiest moments of my life have been when I've found myself in a group that I truly felt I belonged in. Maybe in part because I don't find that too often.

Being an introvert, like a lot of other things in life, is a double edged sword sometimes. Yeah, it means I get to love things like learning and one-on-one talks and spending hours just contemplating life. But it also makes it just a little bit harder to connect with others. That's not true for every introvert at the same degree that it is for me, but generally it's harder for us than it is for extroverts - those wonderfully sociable people I so admire.

And when it comes to being part of the church, the same thing often holds true. I feel like, especially in youth and young adult settings, activities and opportunities are usually better suited for extroverts. And I don't say that in a criticizing way. It's just a natural thing that happens when society as a whole tends to be more extroverted. If it were up to me, we'd have small, dimly-lit gatherings with acoustic worship music playing in the background every Sunday, and lots and lots of time to get to know each other. But instead I tend to find myself in crowded services that encourage mingling with strangers while a full band blares energetic, loud music in the background.

Nothing wrong with that of course. It's just maybe not the most natural environment for me, or most introverts. But that's where we have to realize we need to adapt and work with the environment we're in. Rather than pulling out of the church altogether, realize that there is room here for everyone - young, old, quiet, or talkative. We're all invited to the table. So I want to share two main things I've learned over the years that have helped me, as an introvert, be part of the church.

Get Alone with God Regularly

Everyone needs to spend time alone with God. But if you're an introvert, you really, really need to. You won't survive very well if you don't. While going to church is one of my favorite parts of the week, it has never added as much to my life as the moments I've spent with God on my own, with no loud music or people to distract me. The thing about church settings (especially modern ones) is that they can sometimes be a little over-stimulating for introverts. That of course makes it's easy for us to get distracted and sidetracked worrying about a million other things. But when I'm alone in my room with the worship music of my choice softly playing, it becomes natural and easy to tune in fully to God. And I need that to get by. We all do.

Make One-On-Ones a Priority

Small groups are great, and I always get a lot out of them, but nothing is as impactful to me when it comes to Christian community as getting to know someone over coffee. I love hearing about what God is doing in another person's life. It always leaves me in awe and inspires me. And I also love sharing about what God is doing in my life (that's a big part of the reason I even have this blog). But to be honest, I don't do that part so often. I'm the typical introvert in that I'd rather hold back on sharing when in a large group. But when I'm with just one other person, I'm more likely to delve into what God has been doing in me. I'm not at all saying we shouldn't work on speaking up in groups (we should!), but I am saying that getting together with people one-on-one is so helpful to us to create friendships and build community. So ask someone out for a talk over coffee (preaching to myself here, cause I need to do this more often), and just watch what God can do.

Volunteer

Like I said, getting to know people well isn't always the easiest thing for introverts. But when you volunteer in a ministry, you end up seeing and working with the same people over and over again. It's so much easier to start up conversations in that environment. An added bonus is that you're likely to meet people who are passionate about the same things you're passionate about. Serving in church has added so many good things to my life, and meeting great people is definitely one of them. Another note on this: there are so many opportunities for introverts to serve in the church. Don't think you have to be an extrovert to volunteer in a certain area because that's not true. Churches need all kinds of personalities to function well.

I may share a few more tips on this topic in a later post, since I don't want to make this an essay. ;)

#personality #2016 #christian