Why Writing a Novel is Like Being in a Serious Relationship

I’ve been on my novel writing journey for about a year now, and the experience has taught me a lot about what it really means to write a novel. Truth be told, I’ve actually written two novels before - both which were completed during the craziness of Nanowrimo. But that was back in high school, and so much has changed since high school.

Back then, I was writing purely for the fun of it. Publishing my work seemed like such a far off thing, an endeavor for my future self to conquer. Over the past year though, I decided to give up all my excuses and pursue writing a novel seriously, with publishing actually on the horizon.

And that’s meant a whole slew of new obstacles and mind games to conquer. If there’s one thing I’ve really learned, it’s that writing a novel is a lot more complicated than it seems. It’s not just about the writing (as if that weren't complicated enough on its own). There’s so much about writing a book that is mental - about discipline and trust and commitment.

So if you’re planning to write a novel someday, here are a few things you should be aware of:

So you're a perfectionist? You better leave that at the door asap.

I wouldn’t label myself a complete perfectionist - I’m more of a selective perfectionist. I’m obsessive about the details only when I’m working on something that truly matters to me. And yeah, writing a novel falls right into that category. But let me tell you from experience: being a perfectionist and finishing a first draft do not go hand in hand and I do not recommend it. When you start writing, you have to leave your perfectionism at the door. Otherwise you’re never going to finish a chapter. Don’t worry though - you can go back and pick it up once you get to the editing process. ;)

Your idealistic fantasies will pretty much be crushed at some point.

Many of us writers enter the novel writing process with idealistic expectations. We’re in love with our story, passionate about our characters, and already fantasizing about where our amazing book will take us. It’s easy, as you sit there typing out the first few pages, to daydream about book signings and movie adaptations. But as anyone who’s ever tried to write a novel knows, there will come a point where all your idealistic expectations will come crashing down. And you’ll learn that sometimes, writing a novel is hard, painstaking and just plain torture. But it’s worth it. And that’s what keeps us burning through the midnight oil for months on end.

Learning loyalty and commitment is part of the process.

As much as I love the high of being in the middle of a great writing moment where the words just flow, the truth is that most of the time, that isn’t at all what happens. Much of writing is trudging through sentences and stumbling over words, and trying not to edit the same paragraph a hundred times over. In those moments, the hardest thing in the world is to just keep writing. Because you know what I really want to do when the words and ideas aren’t flowing? Go watch TV, read a book, work on another story… really just about anything else. Learning to stick it through the tough parts is so necessary though. It’s those rough parts that allow us to get to the really great ones.

So basically, writing a novel is just like being in a serious relationship. Which is why it’s perfectly okay for me to tell people I’m currently seeing someone. Okay, I’m joking. But honestly, it does sometimes feel like I’m dating my novel. And let’s just say our relationship status can get a little complicated.

#writing #2016