Idealism and the Church

I’m pretty sure I’m an idealist to the core. Call it rose-colored glasses if you will, but I know I do have a tendency to always look for the best in an environment. But the dark side of it is that almost every time I find something that contradicts my high expectations, I feel so disappointed. Disillusioned might be a better word.

I think one of the places where this most shows up in my life is when it comes to the Church. I don’t always have such rosy expectations for secular environments because, well, everyone’s operating by a different moral code out there, you know? And I don’t think it makes sense to expect people to abide by a moral code that they never agreed to (doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be a good idea, but I just think it makes no sense to expect that). But in the church, of course I expect a different kind of approach to things. Of course I expect grace and kindness and compassion from its members.

In my flowery, idealistic dreams, the church is a place of refuge. It’s a place where everyone can be included - a place free of petty drama and jealousies and mean-spirited arguments. I love the Church for the forgiveness and acceptance it offers to the world - to everyone, no matter who they are or where they’ve come from. And I guess it’s maybe because I have all these expectations for people in the church that I feel so crushed when I hear anything that runs contrary to that.

I can’t even fully articulate how upset it makes me to hear of people within the church being mistreated by others - especially if those others happen to be people of influence who take advantage of their position. It even bugs me to hear about “smaller” things like favoritism by church leaders.

But let’s be real. I grew up in the church. I’ve heard story after story of people doing things they knew they shouldn’t be doing. Things far beyond slipping up once or twice. I mean actually going out of your way to hurt someone and covering it up with a nice, “Christian” label (that makes me so mad, you guys, I can’t even. But anyway…).

And sometimes, after I’ve heard enough of these stories, all I want to do is shout the whole entire church to get their act together. Hey, I want to tell everyone, we’re supposed to be different, remember? We’re supposed to be inclusive and not gossipers, and lift people instead of tearing them down. These aren’t just words to me. I really, truly, expect everyone in the church to do this.

But in the midst of all my disillusionment and disappointment, I have to come back down to earth. I am learning to make friends with reality, even if it isn’t as pretty or romantic as the stuff of my dreams. The reality is that people are never perfect. No one is perfect, not even those within the church. I’m definitely not perfect, and it’s not as if I’ve never done anything that I knew I wasn’t supposed to. And extending grace should go even beyond what I have or haven’t done. Extending grace means empathizing with people who sin differently than you do - even if you think there’s no way could you ever behave like that.

The truth is that as much as we need to offer grace to people outside the church, we need to do the same to those within the church. I think I sometimes overlook that a little more than I should. I think “they should know better” without even realizing that I am. Of course people need to be held accountable for their actions, especially if they’re in leadership roles. But we are called to correct with love. Not to shake our heads in disapproval, but to pray and encourage the best in each other.

The truth is, I don’t mind the fact that I’m idealistic. I like knowing that I almost always hope for the best, and I’d much rather be shocked to learn of something bad than to expect it. But I think there’s a balance to idealism, too. If it works in check with reality, I think it can more appropriately be called faith. Faith in people. Faith that no matter the darkness of a situation, God will bring good out of it.

This is the faith and the love I believe we were called to. And so I want to fight to view every situation and person around me that way. Because at the end of the day, God is really the only one who can live up to our idealistic expectations. He actually far surpasses them. And that’s more than enough for me. :)

#christian #2016