A Few Thoughts About Unconventional Living

A little quirk in my personality is that I have a serious distaste for the conventional. I know, I know, that sentence seriously made me sound like a wannabe hipster. But what I mean isn’t that I necessarily avoid things that are mainstream because I think I’m too cool for them. What I mean to say is that I’m simply not okay with abiding by the pressures of society to do certain things and live a certain way simply because it’s popular or expected. I think I have a serious independent streak that can make me a bit of a rebel sometimes - in my own quiet, private way.

Maybe this is why I identify with Jane from the novel Jane Eyre so much. Jane was a quiet rebel if there ever was one. Calm on the surface, but inside refusing to bow to the pressures of social class and reputation. She knew better than to be swayed by superficial things, and she stuck to her ground even when she was tempted to take the easy way out.

I don’t know that I’m as strong of character as she was, but I do know that I get some strange thrill out of walking the less traveled path. For example, let’s start with the working 9-5, buying a house, and having a nice family in the suburbs scenario. Someone explain to me why this is the default scenario of humankind now. When did this become all we aspire to be? There is nothing wrong with creating a family, of course. It’s such a beautiful and noble thing to dedicate your life to raising your children well - I know I’ll probably find myself in that season someday, quite possibly with my own minivan in the suburbs. And I’ll enjoy it fully, when the time comes.

But why is it almost expected that your life has to go this way? Is it simply because that’s what the majority of people do? And why is that what the majority of people do? Why is society wired to turn us into people who simply have a job doing something we’ve been trained to do and then spend all the money we get from it to buy a nice house, car, and possessions for our family? How can that be it? How can that be all there is to life?

I’m not saying this to criticize anyone who’s living that kind of life now, because there is nothing inherently wrong with that. What bothers me is the fact that it’s pretty much expected. And that even though many people who have a nice family in the suburbs do other amazing things like volunteer or travel and so on, those things aren’t even highlighted when you think of the American Dream. The American Dream is essentially to have money and live well. At least, that’s how it’s portrayed.

I don’t want a cardboard cutout life with a 9-5 job and a couple weeks of vacation for the rest of my life. For certain seasons, even a few years, yes, it’s a blessing. But I don’t want that to be it, forever. It doesn’t resonate with my personality, I guess (I am such an INFP it’s not even funny). So it’s not that it’s bad or wrong - it’s just that it would ultimately be wrong for me.

The way I look at it, there are so many things worth doing in life. The world is full of amazing people and places. How could I not want to see them? How could I not want to expand my perspective a little more each day? How could I not prefer to live life as a great adventure, one where God takes me to some new and unexpected place with every season? That doesn’t have to mean I’ll be a nomad. But there is something so attractive to me about an unpredictable life - one where I have to rely fully on God for my next step. It’s also a terrifying and shaky way to live. But it seems worth it. To dedicate life to the things that really matter.

In my book, I think the things that really matter are people. And grace. And kindness. I think it’s advocating for the people who can’t advocate for themselves, and spreading love and grace to those who have been rejected and forgotten.

For me, that usually looks like a mission field, simply because that’s what my heart beats for. But for someone else, it may look like loving the person on the cubicle beside them in their 9-5 suburb lifestyle. Even though I’m pretty 100% sure that isn't for me, that doesn’t mean it’s any less noble or meaningful or profound. So I’m ending this rant with that. I am (at times) a rebellious free-spirit who would rather trod the unbeaten path.

But that makes me no better or worse than someone living and loving well in the traditional and the familiar.