A Season of Preparation

I'm not going to start this post by saying how quickly February flew by, or how it felt like I blinked and it was suddenly almost March. No, that would be far too typical of me. Instead I'll just say that life has felt like one big transition since September, but I think it's finally starting to slow down.

02.27.18

As I've mentioned before, I started a new job at my church last September, and kind of gave myself permission to abandon all other side projects as I adjusted to my new schedule and responsibilities. Work transitions are always so stressful for me. I function by adapting to environments, but in a new place that I'm not familiar with, that's obviously a lot more complicated - which causes me quite a bit of anxiety. The awesome thing is that I felt God draw so near to me in that season. I could hear Him speaking to me and bringing me calm throughout it, and I know He drew near because He knew how much I needed peace in those moments.

Now, six months later, things are easier. I'm comfortable where I am, and I love the work I'm getting to do. Not to mention the fact that I'm at my church, a place that truly feels like a second home. But, as usual, my mind is already shifting toward the future. To things to come and projects to take on, and to where I hope life will eventually lead me.

I haven't abandoned the hope of doing full time missions someday. The only reason I was hesitant to take this job at my church, actually, was because I was afraid I would love it so much that I wouldn't ever want to leave. But it turns out I was so wrong. As much as I love working at my church and know that God opened the door for me to be there for this season, there is a desire in me for overseas missions that I don't think will ever really go away. I suppose that's because God put that call in my heart somehow. And rather than grow dimmer as my life appears to move farther away from it, it only grows stronger each day.

In the past, it used to frustrate me that I seemed to be moving away from that call. I worked retail for half a year out of college and could not understand why God hadn't just moved me to the mission field immediately, because that's sort of what I had expected. And as the years have passed, sometimes I still get restless. But God's been working with me on that. He's been teaching me that just because I'm not there now doesn't mean I'm not walking in line with that calling. I can still serve here, I can in the meantime learn to love others better here. And I can prepare for that season to come, which - who knows - could be just around the corner.

This is what I'm learning: Just because you are not walking in the middle of your dream, does not mean you are not walking toward it. If you truly believe that God has planted a dream in your heart, part of getting there is the preparation. The waiting season is not a burden, but a blessing in disguise. It's the opportunity God gives us to prepare for when that promise does come to pass, because there will be things in our character that need to be there for us to sustain it.

For me, that means leaning into His word more. That means praying more than I do. It means practical matters too, like being healthier, and learning new skills such as cooking. It means leaning in and giving 100% at my job, because God always has a way of using the skills He helps me develop later on. This is my season of preparation for what's to come. I don't know how long it will last or exactly where it will lead. But God does. All He does, He does with purpose. So I want to do the same.

#christian