Peace and Self-Care in the Midst of Busyness

Over the past few years, I've come to realize that one of the things I most value in life is peace. I avoid stress, sometimes to a fault. And when I find peace, I always look for ways to hold onto it.

I've dealt with stress in different ways throughout my life, and sometimes my methods haven't always been the best. Avoiding stress is part of the reason I can be prone to procrastination, and also why I avoid confrontation as long as I can help it. But over the years I've come to more clearly understand the unhealthy ways in which I deal with stress, while also being able to appreciate the healthy ways that do bring value to my life.

I think peace is underrated in our lives - we glamorize the "hustle" and working so hard for that elusive "American dream," even at the expense of our peace. Ultimately, of course, it's impossible to live a completely peaceful life on this earth. We will have stress, and when you're working a full time job, you better get used to that stress quickly. It's part of our culture, and frankly, part of simply being alive.

But I do think I've become a bit of an expert at this whole, making peace a part of your life thing. I also realize that this is essentially what people refer to as "self care" these days. Without really trying to be, I'm pretty good at self care because of how much I strive to maintain peace in my life.

Over the past year, I transitioned to a new season of my life that is busy in a very different way, and these are the peace and self-care practices I follow to keep it from becoming overwhelming.

Find balance when life gets stressful

Last year I started a new job, a transition process which I always find stressful. There's so much new learning and adapting going on, and even though I loved my new role and was so grateful for it, I knew I needed to make time to do things just because they made me happy. I took some time off from writing and volunteering in those months and let myself watch more TV shows than usual, treated myself a bit more often, and relaxed at home instead of going out as much. I've picked some of those side projects and hobbies back up now. But for that season, having nothing else to worry about aside from work was exactly what I needed. Part of self care (and simply of being a successful adult) is being able to recognize the season you're in and prioritize the most important things in your life during that time.

Getting enough sleep

You know you're getting older when you look back on your high school lifestyle and wonder, how on earth did I manage to do that?! That applies to several things, of course, but I specifically remember staying up so late during my high school years on school nights. I have vivid memories of almost falling asleep in statistics class in my senior year because I was so tired from not sleeping enough. The craziest thing is, that kind of just seemed normal to me. I went to a high school that assigned hours of reading every night - if you were sleeping enough, you probably weren't keeping up. It wasn't until I got to college that I realized the difference that a good night of sleep could make.

I soon learned that the way my body functions, if I don't get eight full hours of sleep, I might as well have slept four hours. I need those eight hours. I don't think it's exactly like that for everyone, but it is for me. And so, I make that a priority. Of course, there are some weeks where for some reason or another, I end up sleeping less than eight hours most days. And those are always the weeks where I end up feeling exhausted. Since I don't drink caffeine, getting enough sleep is a non-negotiable for me. That's a lesson I've learned the hard way many times, and something that I will continue to value in my life because it keeps me healthy (and sane).

Pursuing side projects

One of my actual fears in life is living a lifestyle that consists primarily of working a full time job, coming home to watch movies/TV, running errands on the weekend, and then going back to said full time job. There's nothing wrong with having routine in your life, but the thought of doing little more besides going to work and numbing yourself through entertainment is slightly terrifying to me. Life is too short to live it that passively. Of course, there are seasons when sometimes more relaxed days are called for, as I mentioned earlier. But I don't want that to ever become the norm for my life.

Since I can remember, I've had what people call "side projects." I've been writing short stories in journals since I was in the sixth grade. I started a blog in high school. I bought a professional camera and started playing with photography a few years ago. Since I graduated college, I've also tried to sign up for some sort of class every year, just to learn new things about a subject that interests me. Just because your life revolves around a full time job doesn't mean your mind has to. People are more multi-faceted than that. And so I fill my free time with a lot of these side projects. Not to make more money necessarily, but to give myself a creative outlet that goes beyond what I do for a living. Of course, I am single right now and relatively free of responsibility. I know these "side projects" would be replaced by things like a spouse and kids, and rightly so. When you're raising a family, your life is automatically going to be about so much more than work, as it should be. But when you aren't, I think it can be so easy to fall into the trap of numbing all our free time until we arrive at a new season in our lives.

Leave work at work

I think one of my biggest pet peeves is when a conversation outside of work turns into a conversation all about work. I understand that it's good to vent about your job sometimes - it's healthy and normal. But I also think there's a limit. Yes, work can be stressful and exhausting sometimes. But isn't talking about it even when you're not there just adding to that stress? I've become very good at compartmentalizing my work life with the rest of my life in large part because like I said, I try to go out of my way to avoid stress. If a situation at work is stressing me out and I can't do anything about it, I have somehow learned to "put it away" so to speak, when I'm no longer there.

I don't obsess about work things when I'm off. In fact, I barely even think about them. Not because I don't love my job, but because I don't want to carry it with me everywhere I go. Part of the necessity of having time off away from work (I'm referring mainly to weekends, but vacations apply too) is to help clear your head so you can come back with fresh energy and a clear mind. But how can we do that if we never give ourselves the chance to really be away? One of the things that frustrates me about business in America is that this isn't valued the way it should be. People are often expected to carry their work with them after hours, and even into the depths of the weekend. I'm a firm believer that this is incredibly damaging and unhealthy. And yet, some people have no choice in the matter. To the extent that we do though, I think we should absolutely try to draw that line of separation.

#life