On Restlessness

I've been thinking about restlessness lately, I think because I've felt it more than usual. To be honest, I've been feeling it for awhile now, maybe over a year. The reasons why I feel it are several, though I do think one of them has to do with being in the same place for longer than I ever have post college. It's a good place to be, but there is something in me (perhaps in all of us) naturally wired to desire growth, to almost yearn for it. That, coupled with the fact that I live my life in pursuit of meaning (that's an enneagram 4 for you), makes quite a good recipe for restlessness.

It's not that I don't see meaning in my life, because of course I do. But there is something in me that always whispers but I want to do more meaningful things, I want to do things that will impact others, and the world, in greater ways. I know I am capable of more than I've been trusted with. Sounds poetic maybe, but sometimes it's quite an annoying thought to live with because it seems to fight against you finding contentment.

You know where I find the best cure for restlessness, though? It's coincidentally (except not at all) the same place I find cures for everything.

When I turn to God with my restlessness, I find so much meaning to life. And it's because He's a God of meaning. Everything He does overflows with significance. When I'm struggling to find purpose in my own life, I always find it in Him. I think of how good He is, how He floods this world with such compassion and kindness, and how deeply and personally He cares for each one of us. The other day He reminded me of something - that His ultimate goal is not to get us to behave perfectly, as we often seem to believe. His ultimate goal, which has always been His goal, is to draw us closer to Him. That's why the law was created in the first place, because a holy God could not be in communion with evil and sin. The purpose of it all was to have us be able to walk with Him. And the cross proves that, doesn't it? Because in the end, it wasn't about us learning to behave perfectly at all. God did all He could so that we could walk side by side with Him. Yes, He wants us to do what is right and according to His will, but it's all a part of having us be near Him. This is how He cares for us. This is how He loves us.

And I can't help but think that life is dripping with meaning when I think of these things.

I feel like I end so many posts on here saying, the answer to this whole thing was Jesus, after all. But I mean, how could I not? He makes sense of everything. Whatever season you walk through, He will be there to put everything into perspective. It all goes back to the fact that getting to know Him, talking to Him, being with Him, is the one true thing of value in our lives. The one thing that will endure into eternity. The one thing most worth investing into, above anything else we ever could.